NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS for 2008 - or - if you don't laugh at yourself someone else will do it for you
Bob 10-12-2008
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NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS for 2008 and beyond.

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the
wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @
$240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
eddie 10-12-2008
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YOU GOT THAT ONE RIGHT BOB.